Quiet and the Heart’s Roar
I wonder why I don’t journal as regularly anymore. I thought about that this morning, as I looked over my schedule for the day. Journaling used to be a big part of my life, and not as a discipline that I felt obligated to practice, but as a lifesaver that helped me process the ups, downs, and mediocrity of my day. Writing helped me to think deeply about things that puzzled me spiritually, and discover some wisdom every now and then from the puzzles and pains that are an inevitable part of life. You might say journaling was one of the ways I reconnected and listened to my heart.
Nowadays, a lot of my writing consists of emails, lists, texts and emojis (I embarrass my children with my emoji overuse). This utilitarian writing does not connect me to my heart. It’s necessary, of course, but not to be confused with the type of writing that brings me closer to something bigger than myself.
I fear my lapsed writing time has something to do with my increased screen time.
Reading/scrolling through the articles and stories others share on the internet is not the type of reading that expands me or sticks with me. And unlike the utilitarian writing of emails and texts, this type of reading is usually not a necessary part of life. Too much of my screen time is just a way to avoid the pain of not having a plan or not liking the plan I’m supposed to be following. It gives me a false sense of cognitive challenge (hello Spelling Bee! Hello, Wordle!) when it is actually squandering my cognitive capital. I still indulge in those games from time to time, but I’m fully aware that they are an escape from tension and not building blocks to brain health.
I miss the tension that pushed me to journal or pick up the phone or go for a run. I miss the stillness that opened the gate to self-awareness.
My attention span has shortened, I’m sure of it. But I know that can change. Both as a speech-language pathologist and a life coach, I’ve worked with enough people who’ve decided they wanted to change or grow - and done it! - to know that our brains can change and grow in our favor.
Here’s what I think it takes to tend the heart’s voice and to find the wisdom that resides within:
Quiet. Find quiet even if it’s just in one breath. Find the quiet so you can attend to what’s within and around you.
Awareness. What are you aware of? Something, either pain or curiosity, is asking for your attention. Maybe it’s a whisper. Maybe it’s a roar.
Stillness. After either trying to run away from the pain or busying yourself with activity around your newest curiosity - and either of these can look like too much screen time - you stop yourself. You remember to sit still and just be with this new awareness. I sit on my chair in my study or I lie on my back on the floor with my knees bent and breathe. You find stillness and you connect with your breath. You notice what’s going on in your mind, you feel what’s happening in your body. Receive these internal messages with curiosity, kindness and compassion.
Write. You carve out quiet time to journal. Perhaps you have a cup of coffee and a beautiful view, a special pen and notebook, or other rituals that create a safe space for the heart to speak. You probably ask yourself really good questions when you write and find yourself pleasantly surprised by the wisdom released by putting pen to paper.
Witness. You share this insight or new direction with another person. Daring to be vulnerable with someone you can trust is the first courageous step on the path to leading your authentic life from within.
Begin. Listen again to what bubbles up for you. What is life wanting to express through you? What is one small, exciting step you can take to bring this part of you into the world? Now put this next step into your calendar (a small but very important bit of utilitarian writing). Commit more fully to this step by sharing it with someone who celebrates and appreciates you. You are ready. Go ahead. Add your life force to the world. We are ready too and we thank you.
What about you? I’d love to hear how you connect back with yourself. Let me know when you get a chance.
If you’re interested in exploring these ideas in a structured coaching setting, particularly if you’re facing a crossroads and are wanting to make decisions about how to spend your time and energy that are aligned with who you are now in your life, I’m offering a small online coaching group, Tending the Heart Voice: From role to Soul, that begins on September 2nd. This is a creative, fun, and compassionate group of women. We have room for a few more of you.
Click the link below to learn more: